After I came out of vision, everything looked changed; a gloom was spread over all that I beheld. Oh, how dark this world looked to me. I wept when I found myself here, and felt homesick. I had seen a better world, and it had spoiled this for me. I told the view to our little band in Portland, who then fully believed it to be of God. That was a powerful time. The solemnity of eternity rested upon us. About one week after this the Lord gave me another view and showed me the trials I must pass through, and that I must go and relate to others what He had revealed to me, and that I should meet with great opposition and suffer anguish of spirit by going. But said the angel, “The grace of God is sufficient for you; He will hold you up.” (EW 20.1) MC VC

After I came out of this vision, I was exceedingly troubled. My health was very poor, and I was but seventeen years old. I knew that many had fallen through exaltation, and I knew that if I in any way became exalted, God would leave me, and I should surely be lost. I went to the Lord in prayer and begged Him to lay the burden on someone else. It seemed to me that I could not bear it. I lay upon my face a long time, and all the light I could get was, “Make known to others what I have revealed to you.” (EW 20.2) MC VC

In my next vision I earnestly begged of the Lord that, if I must go and relate what He had shown to me, He would keep me from exaltation. Then He showed me that my prayer was answered, and if I should be in danger of exaltation His hand would be laid upon me, and I would be afflicted with sickness. Said the angel, “If you deliver the messages faithfully, and endure unto the end, you shall eat of the fruit of the tree of life and drink of the water of the river of life.” (EW 21.1) MC VC

Soon it was reported all around that the visions were the result of mesmerism, [see Appendix.] and many Adventists were ready to believe and circulate the report. A physician who was a celebrated mesmerizer told me that my views were mesmerism, that I was a very easy subject, and that he could mesmerize me and give me a vision. I told him that the Lord had shown me in vision that mesmerism was from the devil, from the bottomless pit, and that it would soon go there, with those who continued to use it. I then gave him liberty to mesmerize me if he could. He tried for more than half an hour, resorting to different operations, and then gave it up. By faith in God I was able to resist his influence, so that it did not affect me in the least. (EW 21.2) MC VC

If I had a vision in meeting, many would say that it was excitement and that someone mesmerized me. Then I would go away alone in the woods, where no eye or ear but God’s could see or hear, and pray to Him, and He would sometimes give me a vision there. I then rejoiced, and told them what God had revealed to me alone, where no mortal could influence me. But I was told by some that I mesmerized myself. Oh, thought I, has it come to this that those who honestly go to God alone to plead His promises and to claim His salvation, are to be charged with being under the foul and soul-damning influence of mesmerism? Do we ask our kind Father in heaven for “bread,” only to receive a “stone” or a “scorpion”? These things wounded my spirit, and wrung my soul in keen anguish, well-nigh to despair, while many would have me believe that there was no Holy Ghost and that all the exercises that holy men of God have experienced were only mesmerism or the deceptions of Satan. (EW 21.3) MC VC

I have frequently been falsely charged with teaching views peculiar to Spiritualism. But before the editor of the Day-Star [see Appendix.] ran into that delusion, the Lord gave me a view of the sad and desolating effects that would be produced upon the flock by him and others in teaching the spiritual views. I have often seen the lovely Jesus, that He is a person. I asked Him if His Father was a person and had a form like Himself. Said Jesus, “I am in the express image of My Father’s person.” (EW 77.1) MC VC

I have often seen that the spiritual view took away all the glory of heaven, and that in many minds the throne of David and the lovely person of Jesus have been burned up in the fire of Spiritualism. I have seen that some who have been deceived and led into this error will be brought out into the light of truth, but it will be almost impossible for them to get entirely rid of the deceptive power of Spiritualism. Such should make thorough work in confessing their errors and leaving them forever. (EW 77.2) 2 I MC VC