Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. Philippians 4:11.
(TDG 61.1)
The thought has impressed itself upon my mind that as I have no change in my physical health it is not best to relate my pains or my hours of sleeplessness at night. So day after day passes and my experience is the same. My body is full of rheumatic pains. I have no appetite or pleasure in eating, and when sitting a short time it is a most painful process to rise. My limbs refuse to obey my will, and if I move them at all I suffer much pain.
(TDG 61.2)
I have many thoughts that I am not sent to this country [Australia] of the Lord. I feel at times an assurance that the Lord’s will was for me to remain in California, in my own home, and write as I should be able to write upon the life of Christ. Of one thing I am certain—that the people need help in this country. And I feared it might be selfishness in me, or seeking my ease, to refuse to go to Australia.
(TDG 61.3)
During my life I have tried to do that which was opposed to my inclination because Christ our Pattern lived not to please Himself. Repeatedly, at large expense, I have thought I had secured a place of retirement and rest, where I could write out the life of Christ, when some earnest call would come from somewhere where help was needed, and request would be made for me to bear my testimony among the churches. I dared not say Nay. I at once responded that I would do according to the strength given me of God. After this work was finished in my feebleness, then other duties in Battle Creek called for labor which required me to carry the burden night and day, being much in prayer in the hours of the night when I could not sleep.
(TDG 61.4)
When I journeyed to California I verily believed I could remain there through the winter, but many expressed their minds that now was the time to go to Australia. I dared not settle down, but went, according to the voice and light of my brethren. Now when I came to Australia the burden did come upon me and I labored just as I had hitherto done.—Manuscript 29, February 22, 1892, diary, written in Melbourne, Australia.
(TDG 61.5)