The Canaanites were idolaters, and the Lord had commanded that his people should not intermarry with them, lest they should be led into idolatry. Abraham was old, and he expected soon to die. Isaac was yet unmarried. Abraham was afraid of the corrupting influence surrounding Isaac, and was anxious to have a wife selected for him who would not lead him from God. He committed this matter to his faithful, experienced servant who ruled over all that he had. Abraham required his servant to make a solemn oath to him before the Lord, that he would not take a wife for Isaac of the Canaanites, but that he would go unto Abraham’s kindred, who believed in the true God, and select a wife for Isaac. He charged him to beware, and not take Isaac to the country from whence he came, for they were nearly all affected with idolatry. If he could not find a wife for Isaac who would leave her kindred, and come where he was, then he should be clear of the oath which he had made.
(3SG 108.3)
This important matter was not left with Isaac, for him to select for himself, independent of his father. Abraham tells his servant that God will send his angel before him to direct him in his choice. The servant, to whom this mission was entrusted, started on his long journey. As he entered the city, where Abraham’s kindred dwelt, he prayed earnestly to God to direct him in his choice of a wife for Isaac. He asked that certain evidence might be given him, that he should not err in the matter. He rested by a well which was a place of the greatest gathering. Here he particularly noticed the engaging manners, and courteous conduct of Rebekah, and all the evidence he has asked of God he receives that Rebekah is the one whom God has been pleased to select to become Isaac’s wife. She invites the servant to her father’s house. He then relates to Rebekah’s father, and her brother, the evidences he has received from the Lord, that Rebekah should become the wife of his master’s son, Isaac. Abraham’s servant then said to them, “And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me; and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left.” The father and son answered, “The thing proceedeth from the Lord. We cannot speak unto thee bad or good. Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master’s son’s wife, as the Lord hath spoken. And it came to pass, that when Abraham’s servant heard their words, he worshiped the Lord, bowing himself to the earth.”
(3SG 109.1)
After all had been arranged, the consent of the father and brother had been obtained, then Rebekah was consulted whether she would go with the servant of Abraham a great distance from her father’s family, to become the wife of Isaac. She believed from the circumstances that had taken place, that God’s hand had selected her to be Isaac’s wife, “and she said, I will go.”
(3SG 110.1)
Marriage contracts were then generally made by the parents, yet no compulsion was used to make them marry those they could not love. But the children had confidence in the judgment of their parents, and followed their counsel, and bestowed their affections upon those whom their God-fearing, experienced parents chose for them. It was considered a crime to follow a course contrary to this.
(3SG 110.2)
What a contrast to the course now pursued by many children! Instead of showing reverence, and due honor for their parents, by consulting them, and having the advantages of their experienced judgment in choosing for them, they move hastily in the matter, and are controlled by impulse rather than by the judgment of their parents, and the fear of God. It is often the case that they contract marriage without even the knowledge of their parents. And in many instances their lives are imbittered by hasty marriages, because the son-in-law, or the daughter-in-law, feel under no obligation to make their parents happy.
(3SG 111.1)
Young men and women sometimes manifest great independence upon the subject of marriage, as though the Lord had nothing to do with them, or they with the Lord, in that matter, and that it was purely a matter of their own, which neither God, nor their parents should in any wise control. They seem to think that the bestowal of their affections is a matter in which self alone should be consulted. Such make a serious mistake, and a few years of marriage experience generally teaches them that it is a miserable mistake. This is the great reason of so many unhappy marriages, in which there is so little true, generous love toward each other, and so little exercise of noble forbearance toward each other. These often behave in their own homes more like pettish children, than the dignified, affectionate husband and wife.
(3SG 111.2)
Isaac had been trained in the fear of God to a life of obedience. And when he was forty years old, he submitted to have his God-fearing, experienced father’s servant choose for him. He believed that God would direct in regard to his obtaining a wife.
(3SG 112.1)
Children now from fifteen to twenty, generally consider themselves competent to make their own choice, without the consent of their parents. And they would look with astonishment, if it should be proposed to them to move in the fear of God and make the matter a subject of prayer! Isaac’s case is left on record, as an example for children to imitate in after generations, especially those who profess to fear God.
(3SG 112.2)
The course which Abraham pursued in the education of Isaac, which caused him to love a life of noble obedience, is recorded for the benefit of parents, and should lead them to command their households after them. They should instruct their children to yield to, and respect their authority. And they should feel that a responsibility rests upon them to guide the affections of their children, that they may be placed upon persons whom their judgment would teach them would be suitable companions for their sons and their daughters. It is a sad fact that Satan controls the affections of the young to a great extent. And some parents feel that the affections should not be guided or restrained. The course pursued by Abraham, is a rebuke to all such.
(3SG 112.3)