There is not one marriage in one hundred that results happily, that bears the sanction of God, and places the parties in a position better to glorify him. The evil consequences of poor marriages are numberless. They are contracted from impulse.—Testimonies for the Church 4:504.
(PH048 21.1)
Genesis 6:2: The sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.
(PH048 21.2)
In your letter-writing, leave match-making and guessing about the marriages of your friends. The marriage relation is holy, but in this degenerate age it covers vileness of every description. It is abused, and has become a crime which now constitutes one of the signs of the last days, even as marriages, managed as they were previous to the flood, were then a crime. Satan is constantly busy to hurry inexperienced youth into a marriage alliance. But the less we glory in the marriages which are now taking place, the better. When the sacred nature and claims of marriage are understood, it will even now be approved of Heaven, and the result will be happiness to both parties, and God will be glorified.—Testimonies for the Church 2:252.
(PH048 21.3)
He [Satan] is busily engaged in influencing those who are wholly unsuited in each other, to unite their interests. He exults in this work, for by it he can produce more misery and hopeless woe to human family than by exercising his skill in any other direction.—Testimonies for the Church 2:248.
(PH048 21.4)
1 Kings 11:2: Of the nations concerning which the Lord said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not 22go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.
(PH048 21.5)
Courtship, as carried on in this age, is a scheme of deception and hypocrisy, with which the enemy of souls has far more to do than the Lord. Good common sense is needed here if anywhere; but the fact is, it has little to do in the matter.—The Review and Herald, January 26, 1886.
(PH048 22.1)
Galatians 6:7: Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
(PH048 22.2)
If you had counseled with your brethren, and committed your ways to the Lord, he would have opened the way for you to connect yourself with one who could have been a help to you instead of a hindrance.—Testimonies for the Church 2:227.
(PH048 22.3)
Genesis 24:4, 64, 67: But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.... And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel... And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.
(PH048 22.4)
Advice is only thrown away on those who are determined to have their own way. Passion carries such persons over every barrier that reason and judgment can interpose.—The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888.
(PH048 22.5)
Judges 14:3: Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me for she pleaseth me well.
(PH048 22.6)
If there is any subject that should be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgment, it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counselor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for 23life. But the prevailing sentiment is that in this matter the feelings are to be the guide; and in too many cases love-sick sentimentalism takes the helm, and guides to certain ruin. It is here that the youth show less intelligence than on any other subject: it is here that they refuse to be reasoned with. The question of marriage seems to have a bewitching power over them. They do not submit themselves to God. Their senses are enchained, and they move forward in secretiveness, as if fearful that their plans would be interfered with by some one.—The Review and Herald, January 26, 1886.
(PH048 22.7)
Love is a plant of heavenly origin. It is not unreasonable; it is not blind. It is pure and holy. But the passion of the natural heart is another thing altogether. While pure love will take God into all its plans, and will be in perfect harmony with the Spirit of God, passion will be headstrong, rash, unreasonable, defiant of all restraint, and will make the object of its choice an idol. In all the deportment of one who possesses true love, the grace of God will be shown. Modesty, simplicity, sincerity, morality, and religion will characterize every step toward an alliance in marriage. Those who are thus controlled will not be absorbed in each other’s society, at a loss of interest in the prayer-meeting and the religious service.—The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888 .
(PH048 23.1)
Most of that which the youth of our day term love is only blind impulse, which originates with Satan to compass their destruction.—Testimonies for the Church 5:109.
(PH048 23.2)
There is but little real, genuine, devoted, pure 24love. This precious article is very rare. Passion is termed love.—Testimonies for the Church 2:381.
(PH048 23.3)
Many marriages can only be productive of misery, and yet the minds of the youth run in this channel because Satan leads them there, making them believe that they must be married in order to be happy.—Testimonies for the Church 5:122.
(PH048 24.1)
1 Kings 11:4: For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.
(PH048 24.2)
Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy, or inharmonious and wretched. Let the questions be raised, Will this union help me heavenward? will it increase my love for God? and will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward. But even if an engagement has been entered into without a full understanding of the character of the one with whom you intend to unite, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity for you to take upon yourself the marriage vow, and link yourself for life to one whom you cannot love and respect. Be very careful how you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do.
(PH048 24.3)
True love is a plant that needs culture. Let the woman who desires a peaceful, happy union, who would escape future misery and sorrow, inquire before she yields her affections, Has my lover a mother? What is the stamp of her character? Does he recognize his obligations to her? Is he mindful of her wishes and happiness? 25If he does not respect and honor his mother, will he manifest respect and love, kindness and attention, toward his wife? When the novelty of marriage is over, will he love me still? Will he be patient with my mistakes, or will he be critical, overbearing, and dictatorial? True affection will overlook many mistakes; love will not discern them. The youth trust altogether too much to impulse.—The Review and Herald, January 26, 1886.
(PH048 24.4)
Your prayers have been made with a determination to carry out what you regarded as right, irrespective of the wishes of your parents or of the church.—Testimonies for the Church 5:108.
(PH048 25.1)
Proverbs 28:9: He that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer shall be abomination.
(PH048 25.2)
If men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated. Marriage is something that will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come.—The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888.
(PH048 25.3)
As the mysterious magnet points to the north, so do the claims of religion point to the glory of God.—Testimonies for the Church 3:45.
(PH048 25.4)
1 Corinthians 10:31: Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
(PH048 25.5)
A sincere Christian will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for himself, but will feel that God must choose for him. We are not to please ourselves, for Christ pleased not himself. I would not be understood to mean that any one is to marry one 26whom he does not love. This would be sin. But fancy and the emotional nature must not be allowed to lead on to ruin. God requires the whole heart, the supreme affections.—The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888.
(PH048 25.6)
1 Kings 16:31: And it came to pass, as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, that he took to wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Zidonians, and went and served Baal, and worshiped him.
(PH048 26.1)
There is in itself no sin in eating and drinking, or in marrying and giving in marriage. It was lawful to marry in the time of Noah, and it is lawful to marry now, if that which is lawful is properly treated, and not carried to sinful excess. But in the days of Noah, men married without consulting God, or seeking his guidance and counsel. So it is at the present day; marriage ceremonies are made matters of display, extravagance, and self-indulgence. But if the contracting parties are agreed in religious belief and practise, and everything is consistent, and the ceremony be conducted without display and extravagance, marriage at this time need not be displeasing to God. “But this I say, brethren, the time is short; it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; and they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; and they that use this world, as not abusing it; for the fashion of this world passeth away.”—The Review and Herald, September 25, 1888.
(PH048 26.2)
The Lord requires a loyalty so supreme and undivided that the most sacred relationship is to be subordinate to it.—Unpublished Testtimony.
(PH048 26.3)
Luke 14:20: And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.
(PH048 27.1)
The pleadings of affection and love, the yearnings of friendship, will not move you to turn aside from truth and duty; you will not sacrifice duty to inclination.—Testimonies for the Church 3:44.
(PH048 27.2)
No earthly ties, no earthly considerations, should weigh one moment in the scale against duty to the cause and work of God.—Testimonies for the Church 3:500.
(PH048 27.3)
Luke 9:62: And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.
(PH048 27.4)
Those professing to be Christians should not enter the marriage relation until the matter has been carefully and prayerfully considered from an elevated standpoint, to see if God can be glorified by the union. Then they should duly consider the result of every privilege of the marriage relation, and sanctified principle should be the basis of every action.—Testimonies for the Church 2:380.
(PH048 27.5)
1 Corinthians 10:31: Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
(PH048 27.6)
When a conference selects young men and women, and aids them in obtaining an education for the canvassing field or any other branch of the work, there should be an understanding as to what they propose to do,—whether they design to engage in courtship and marriage, or to labor for the advancement of the cause of truth. It is no use to spend time and money in the education of workers who will fall in love before they complete this education, and who cannot resist the first temptation in the form of an invitation to marriage. In most cases the labor spent on such 28persons is wholly lost. When they enter the marriage relation, their usefulness in the work of God is at an end. They increase their family, they are dwarfed and crippled in every way, and cannot use the knowledge they have obtained.—The General Conference Daily Bulletin, Vol. V., 162.
(PH048 27.7)
Matthew 10:37: He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
(PH048 28.1)
Luke 14:26: And if any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
(PH048 28.2)
Before persons are admitted to our mission training-schools, let there be a written agreement that after receiving their education they will give themselves to the work for a specified time. This is the only way our missions can be made what they should be. Let those who connect themselves with the missions be straightforward, and take hold of the work in a business-like manner. Those who are controlled by a sense of duty, who daily seek wisdom and help from God, will act intelligently, not from selfish motives, but from the love of Christ and the truth. Such will not hesitate to give themselves unreservedly, soul, body, and spirit, to the work. They will study, work, and pray for its advancement. I repeat, Do not enter into a marriage engagement unless there are good and sufficient reasons for this step,—unless the work of God can be better advanced thereby. For Christ’s sake deny inclination, lift the cross, and do the work for which you are educating yourselves.
(PH048 28.3)
Many of the marriages contracted in these last days prove to be a mistake. The parties make 29no advancement in spiritual things; their growth and usefulness ended with their marriage. There are men and women throughout the country who would have been accepted as laborers together with God if Satan had not laid his snares to entangle their minds and hearts in courtship and marriage. Did the Lord urge them to obtain the advantages of our schools and missions that they might sink everything in courtship and marriage, binding themselves by a human band for a lifetime?
(PH048 28.4)
By accepting the work of rearing children in these last days of uncertainty and peril, many place themselves in a position where they cannot labor either in the canvassing field or in any other branch of the cause of God, and some lose all interest to do this. They are content with a common, low level, and assimilate to the position they have chosen. The bewitching power of Satan’s deceptions wrought within the human heart its evil work. Instead of candidly considering the time in which we live, and the work they might do in leading others to the truth, they reason from a selfish standpoint, and follow the impulse of their own unconsecrated hearts. “The flesh lusteth against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh.” The natural appetites and passions become a controlling power, and the result is that spiritual growth ceases; the soul is, as it were, paralyzed.—The General Conference Bulletin, February 6, 1893
(PH048 29.1)
Matthew 24:19: And woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days.
(PH048 29.2)
Let none who dedicate themselves to the work of God be discouraged at the outlook, but let them strive to be faithful in the work committed 30to them. Live wholly for God; put your life, your energies, your soul, into your work, not knowing which shall prosper, this or that.... Let every soul bear in mind the words of Jesus, “Without me ye can do nothing.”—The General Conference Daily Bulletin, February 6, 1893.
(PH048 29.3)