Chapter 14—Struggles with Poverty

At Gorham, Maine, August 26, 1847, our eldest son, Henry Nichols White, was born. In October Brother and Sister Howland, of Topsham, kindly offered us a part of their dwelling, which we gladly accepted, and commenced housekeeping with borrowed furniture. We were poor, and saw close times. We had resolved not to be dependent, but to support ourselves, and have something with which to help others. But we were not prospered. My husband worked very hard hauling stone on the railroad, but could not get what was due him for his labor. Brother and Sister Howland freely divided with us whatever they could; but they also were in close circumstances. They fully believed the first and second messages, and had generously imparted of their substance to forward the work, until they were dependent on their daily labor.

My husband stopped hauling stone, and with his ax went into the woods to chop cordwood. With a continual pain in his side, he worked from early morning till dark to earn about fifty cents a day. We endeavored to keep up good courage, and trust in the Lord. I did not murmur. In the morning I felt grateful to God that He had preserved us through another night, and at night I was thankful that He had kept us through another day.

One day when our provisions were gone, my husband went to his employer to get money or provisions. It was a stormy day, and he walked three miles and back in the rain. He brought home on his back a bag of provisions tied in different compartments, having in this manner passed through the village of Brunswick, where he had often lectured. As he entered the house, very weary, my heart sank within me. My first feelings were that God had forsaken us. I said to my husband: “Have we come to this? Has the Lord left us?” I could not restrain my tears, and wept aloud for hours, until I fainted. Prayer was offered in my behalf. Soon I felt the cheering influence of the Spirit of God, and regretted that I had sunk under discouragement. We desire to follow Christ and to be like Him; but we sometimes faint beneath trials, and remain at a distance from Him. Sufferings and trials bring us near to Jesus. The furnace consumes the dross and brightens the gold.

At this time I was shown that the Lord had been trying us for our good, and to prepare us to labor for others; that He had been stirring up our nest, lest we should settle down at ease. Our work was to labor for souls; if we had been prospered, home would be so pleasant that we would be unwilling to leave it; trials had been permitted to come upon us to prepare us for the still greater conflicts that we would meet in our travels. We soon received letters from brethren in different States, inviting us to visit them; but we had no means to take us out of the State. Our reply was that the way was not open before us. I thought that it would be impossible for me to travel with my child. We did not wish to be dependent, and were careful to live within our means. We were resolved to suffer rather than get in debt.

Little Henry was soon taken very sick, and grew worse so fast that we were much alarmed. He lay in a stupid state; his breathing was quick and heavy. We gave remedies with no success. We then called in a person of experience in sickness, who said that his recovery was doubtful. We had prayed for him, but there was no change. We had made the child an excuse for not traveling and laboring for the good of others, and we feared the Lord was about to remove him. Once more we went before the Lord, praying that he would have compassion upon us, and spare the life of the child, and solemnly pledging ourselves to go forth trusting in God, wherever He might send us.

Our petitions were fervent and agonizing. By faith we claimed the promises of God, and we believed that he listened to our cries. Light from heaven was breaking through the clouds and shining upon us. Our prayers were graciously answered. From that hour the child began to recover.

First Visit to Connecticut

While at Topsham we received a letter from Brother E. L. H. Chamberlain, of Middletown, Conn., urging us to attend a conference in that State in April, 1848. We decided to go if we could obtain means. My husband settled with his employer, and found that there was ten dollars due him. With five of this I purchased articles of clothing that we very much needed, and then patched by husband’s overcoat, even piecing the patches, making it difficult to tell the original cloth in the sleeves. We had five dollars left to take us to Dorchester, Mass.

Our trunk contained nearly everything we possessed on earth; but we enjoyed peace of mind and a clear conscience, and this we prized above earthly comforts.

In Dorchester we called at the house of Brother Otis Nichols, and as we left, Sister Nichols handed my husband five dollars, which paid our fare to Middletown, Conn. We were strangers in Middletown, having never seen one of the brethren in Connecticut. Of our money there was but fifty cents left. My husband did not dare to use that to hire a carriage, so he threw our trunk upon a high pile of boards in a near-by lumberyard, and we walked on in search of some one of like faith. We soon found Brother Chamberlain, who took us to his home.

Conference at Rocky Hill

The conference at Rocky Hill was held in the large unfinished chamber of Brother Albert Belden’s house. In a letter to Brother Stockbridge Howland, my husband wrote of the meeting as follows:

“April 20th Brother Belden sent his two-horse wagon to Middletown for us and the scattered brethren in that city. We arrived at this place about four in the afternoon, and in a few minutes in came Brethren Bates and Gurney. We had a meeting that evening of about fifteen. Friday morning the brethren came in until we numbered about fifty. There were not all fully in the truth. Our meeting that day was very interesting. Brother Bates presented the commandments in a clear light, and their importance was urged home by powerful testimonies. The word had effect to establish those already in the truth, and to awaken those who were not fully decided.”

Earning Means to Visit Western New York

Two years before, I had been shown that at some future time we should visit western New York. And now, shortly after the close of the conference at Rocky Hill, we were invited to attend a general meeting at Volney, N. Y., in August. Brother Hiram Edson wrote to us that the brethren were generally poor, and that he could not promise that they would do much toward defraying our expenses, but that he would do what he could. We had no means with which to travel. My husband’s health was poor, but the way opened for him to work in the hayfield, and he decided to accept the work.

It seemed then that we must live by faith. When we arose in the morning, we bowed beside our bed, and asked God to give us strength to labor through the day, and we could not be satisfied without the assurance that the Lord heard our prayers. My husband then went forth to swing the scythe in the strength that God gave him. At night when he came home we would again plead with God for strength with which to earn means to spread the truth. In a letter to Brother Howland, written July 2, 1848, he spoke of this experience thus:

“It is rainy today, so that I do not mow, or I should not write. I mow five days for unbelievers, and Sunday for believers, and rest on the seventh day, therefore I have but very little time to write.... God gives me strength to labor hard all day.... Brother Holt, Brother John Belden, and I have taken one hundred acres of grass to mow, at eighty-seven and one half cents per acre, and board ourselves. Praise the Lord! I hope to get a few dollars here to use in the cause of God.”