AH 438-40
(The Adventist Home 438-40)
Low, cheap, common talk should find no place in the family. When the heart is pure, rich treasures of wisdom will flow forth. (AH 438.1) MC VC
Indulge in no foolish talking in your house. Even very young children will be benefited by “the form of sound words.” But idle and foolish words exchanged between father and mother will lead to the same kind of words among the children; while right, candid, truthful, and serious words will lead to the same in all the household and will lead to right actions also. (AH 438.2) MC VC
The Evils of Angry, Hasty Words—When you speak angry words to your children, you are helping the cause of the enemy of all righteousness. Let every child have a fair chance from babyhood up. The work of teaching should begin in childhood, not accompanied by harshness and fretting, but in kindness and patience; and this instruction should be continued through all their years to manhood and womanhood. (AH 438.3) MC VC
Let every family seek the Lord in earnest prayer for help to do the work of God. Let them overcome the habits of hasty speech and the desire to blame others. Let them study to be kind and courteous in the home, to form habits of thoughtfulness and care. (AH 438.4) MC VC
What harm is wrought in the family circle by the utterance of impatient words, for the impatient utterance of one leads another to retort in the same spirit and manner. Then come words of retaliation, words of self-justification, and it is by such words that a heavy, galling yoke is manufactured for your neck; for all these bitter words will come back in a baleful harvest to your soul. (AH 439.1) MC VC
Hard words beat upon the heart through the ear, awakening to life the worst passions of the soul and tempting men and women to break God’s commandments .... Words are as seeds which are planted. (AH 439.2) MC VC
Passionate Words a Species of Swearing—Among the members of many families there is practiced the habit of saying loose, careless things; and the habit of tantalizing, of speaking harsh words, becomes stronger and stronger as it is indulged, and thus many objectionable words are spoken that are after Satan’s order and not after the order of God.... Burning words of passion should never be spoken, for in the sight of God and holy angels they are as a species of swearing. (AH 439.3) MC VC
How a Father Lost His Children’s Confidence—My brother, your overbearing words hurt your children. As they advance in years, their tendency to criticize will grow. Faultfinding is corrupting your life and is extending to your wife and to your children. Your children are not encouraged to give you their confidence or to acknowledge their faults, because they know that your stern rebuke is sure to follow. Your words are often as a desolating hail which breaks down tender plants. It is impossible to estimate the harm thus done. Your children practice deception in order to avoid the hard words you speak. They will evade the truth to escape censure and punishment. A hard, cold command will do them no good. (AH 439.4) MC VC
A Suggestive Pledge—It would be well for every man to sign a pledge to speak kindly in his home, to let the law of love rule his speech. Parents, never speak hastily. If your children do wrong, correct them, but let your words be full of tenderness and love. Every time you scold, you lose a precious opportunity of giving a lesson in forbearance and patience. Let love be the most prominent feature in your correction of wrong. (AH 440.1) MC VC
Table Conversation—How many families season their daily meals with doubt and questionings! They dissect the characters of their friends and serve them up as a dainty dessert. A precious bit of slander is passed around the board to be commented upon, not only by adults, but by children. In this God is dishonored. (AH 440.2) MC VC
In the home the spirit of criticism and faultfinding should have no place. The peace of the home is too sacred to be marred by this spirit. But how often, when seated at the meal table, the members of the family pass round a dish of criticism, faultfinding, and scandal. Were Christ to come today, would He not find many of the families who profess to be Christians cherishing the spirit of criticism and unkindness? The members of such families are unready to unite with the family above. (AH 440.3) MC VC
Let the conversation at the family board be such as is calculated to leave a fragrant influence on the minds of the children. (AH 440.4) MC VC
Gossip and Talebearing—We think with horror of the cannibal who feasts on the still warm and trembling flesh of his victim; but are the results of even this practice more terrible than are the agony and ruin caused by misrepresenting motive, blackening reputation, dissecting character? Let the children, and the youth as well, learn what God says about these things: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Proverbs 18:21. (AH 440.5) MC VC