When I first found myself in a state of helplessness I deeply regretted having crossed the broad waters. Why was I not in America? Why at such expense was I in this country? Time and again I could have buried my face in the bed quilts and had a good cry. But I did not long indulge in the luxury of tears. (2SM 234.1) MC VC

I said to myself, “Ellen G. White, what do you mean? Have you not come to Australia because you felt that it was your duty to go where the conference judged it best for you to go? Has this not been your practice?” (2SM 234.2) MC VC

I said, “Yes.” (2SM 234.3) MC VC

“Then why do you feel almost forsaken and discouraged? Is not this the enemy’s work?” (2SM 234.4) MC VC

I said, “I believe it is.” (2SM 234.5) MC VC

I dried my tears as quickly as possible and said, “It is enough; I will not look on the dark side any more. Live or die, I commit the keeping of my soul to Him who died for me.” (2SM 234.6) MC VC

I then believed that the Lord would do all things well, and during this eight months of helplessness, I have not had any despondency or doubt. I now look at this matter as a part of the Lord’s great plan, for the good of His people here in this country, and for those in America, and for my good. I cannot explain why or how, but I believe it. And I am happy in my affliction. I can trust my heavenly Father. I will not doubt His love. I have an ever-watchful guardian day and night, and I will praise the Lord, for His praise is upon my lips because it comes from a heart full of gratitude—Letter 18a, 1892. (2SM 234.7) MC VC