Did you, Brother D, as a disciple, a learner, of Christ, go to Him in humble, sincere prayer and commit your ways to him? You failed to do this. You did not investigate all your motives and move with carefulness lest you should bring a reproach upon the cause of Christ, your Redeemer. You did not consider whether this move would have an effect to increase your spiritual sensibility, quicken your zeal, and strengthen your steadfastness in the truth and your efforts to deny self. You were ignorant of your own heart. The work of God was seen in the church, but you had no longings for the divine Spirit. The things of heaven were insipid to you. You were infatuated by your new hopes of uniting your interests with those of another. You did not consider that a marriage alliance would vitally affect your interest for life, short though that life must be. (2T 226.1) MC VC

You should have felt that with your own evil heart to subdue you could not be brought in connection with an influence which would make it more difficult for you to overcome self, make your path upward to heaven more rugged. You have now made your religious progress tenfold more difficult than when you stood alone. It is true you were lonely, for you had lost a precious jewel. But if you had counseled with your brethren, and committed your ways to the Lord, He would have opened the way for you to have connected yourself with one who could have been a help to you instead of a hindrance. (2T 226.2) MC VC