Sister I, you have not been the help to your husband that you should have been. Your attention has been devoted more to yourself. You have not realized the necessity of arousing your dormant energies to encourage and strengthen your husband in his labors, or to bless your children with the right influence. Had you set yourself diligently about the duties God has enjoined upon you, had you helped to bear the burdens of your companion and united with him to properly discipline your children, the order of things in your family would have been changed. (4T 103.1) MC VC

But you have yielded to feelings of gloom and sadness, and this has brought upon your dwelling a cloud instead of sunshine. You have not encouraged hope and cheerfulness, and your influence has been depressing upon those whom you should have aided by kindly words and deeds. All this is the result of selfishness. You have required the attention and sympathy of your husband and children, and yet have not felt that it was your duty to take your mind off yourself and labor for their happiness and well-being. You have given way to impatience, and have harshly reproved your children. This has only confirmed them in their evil ways and severed the cords of affection that should bind the hearts of parents and children together. (4T 103.2) MC VC

You have lacked self-control and have censured your husband in the presence of your children; this has lessened his authority over them, and yours also. You have been very weak; when your children have come to you with complaints of others, you have immediately decided in their favor, and have unwisely censured and blamed those of whom they complained. This has cherished in the minds of your children a disposition to murmur against those who do not pay them the deference they imagine they deserve. You have indirectly encouraged this spirit instead of silencing it. You have not dealt with your children as firmly and justly as you should have done. (4T 103.3) MC VC

The same is true of your children. Their mother’s wrong discipline when she has been able to care for them, and their being left so much of the time without a mother’s care, have nearly ruined them. Yet even now a firm, undeviating course will make great improvement in them; they are not beyond control, although it will be most difficult to make them what they might have been had the parents been right. The mother can see the result of the course she has pursued if she wishes, or she can reform and try to counteract the wrong done. The path upon which her children are now entering may lead to virtue or to vice, to honor or to infamy, to heaven or to hell. The influence of a praying, God-fearing mother will last through eternity. She may die, but her work will endure. (4T 500.1) MC VC

Brother and Sister H, neither of you realizes the sad condition of your children. Brother H has neglected to take a decided stand to control them. The little boy, to a great extent, rules the household. The management of your two elder children was entirely wrong. While at times Brother H was too severe and exacting, requiring of them that which he would not have required of his own children, your course, Sister H, was far worse. You took the part of the children in their presence and fired their young hearts with revenge. You gave them lessons of insubordination and talked disrespectfully of your husband before them. This course was just calculated to lead them to despise restraint. An indelible impression was thus made upon their minds. (4T 500.2) MC VC

You are now beginning to see in your elder children the results of this training; yet you are doing the same work, to a great extent, with the children that God has since entrusted to your care. Your inconsistent, uncontrollable spirit is like an insidious poison taken into the system, and its bitter results will appear sooner or later. Its mark is being made, not on sand, but on rock; and in after years it will testify of your work. (4T 500.3) MC VC