Cultivate traits of character the opposite of those which are here reproved. Seek to develop goodness, patience, love, and all the graces which will have a transforming influence in your home and will brighten the lives of your family and your friends. Confess that you have done wrong, and then turn squarely about and strive to be just and right. Do not endeavor to make your wife a slave to your will, but by kindness and an unselfish desire to promote her comfort and happiness draw her into close sympathy with yourself. Give her an opportunity to exercise her faculties, and do not try to warp her mind and mold her judgment till she loses her mental identity. (4T 130.1) MC VC

She is a child of God and a woman of fine capabilities and good taste, one who has a humble opinion of herself at best. And you have so long dictated to her and discouraged her independent thought that it has had an influence to make her shut herself within herself and fail to develop the noble womanhood that is hers by right. While consulting with your wife upon matters that affect her interests equally with your own, you well know that if she expresses an opinion contrary to yours, a feeling of injury rises in your heart, and self takes possession of you and excludes that feeling of deference that you should naturally cherish toward the companion of your life. (4T 130.2) MC VC

The very same spirit that you exercise at home will be manifested more or less in your church relationship. Your determined will, your rigid opinions, will be urged and made a ruling power as far as possible. This will never do; you must feel the necessity of occasionally yielding your judgment to that of others, and not persist in your way to a degree that often approaches stubbornness. If you wish for the daily blessing of God you should modulate your imperious disposition and make it correspond to the divine Pattern. (4T 130.3) MC VC

You frequently grieve your wife unconsciously to yourself because you do not guard your words and acts with that tenderness that you should. You thus lessen her love for you and foster a coldness that is creeping into your home unawares. (4T 130.4) MC VC

If you will think less of yourself and more of the treasures in your household, giving due consideration to the members of your family and allowing them a proper exercise of their individual judgment, you will bring a blessing upon yourself and them, and will increase the respect they feel for you. (4T 131.1) MC VC

You have been inclined to look with a sort of contempt upon your brethren who were faulty, and who, because of their natural temperament, found it hard to overcome the evils that beset them. But Jesus pities them; He loves them and bears with their infirmities even as He does with yours. You do wrong to exalt yourself above those who are not so strong as you are. You do wrong to shut yourself up in a self-righteous spirit, thanking God that you are not like other men, but, that your faith and zeal exceed those of the poor, feeble ones striving to do right under discouragements and darkness. (4T 131.2) MC VC

Angels from a pure and holy heaven come to this polluted world to sympathize with the weakest, the most helpless and needy, while Christ Himself descended from His throne to help just such as these. You have no right to hold yourself aloof from these faltering ones, nor to assert your marked superiority over them. Come more in unison with Christ, pity the erring, lift up the hands that hang down, strengthen the feeble knees, and bid the fearful hearts be strong. Pity and help them, even as Christ has pitied you. (4T 131.3) MC VC

You have desired to do a work for the Master. Here is work for you to do that will be acceptable to Him—the very work that angels are engaged in carrying forward. You may be a colaborer with them. But you will never be called to preach the word to the people. You may have in general a correct knowledge of our faith, but you lack the qualifications of a teacher. You have not the faculty of adapting yourself to the needs and ways of others. You have not sufficient volume of voice. Even in conference meetings you speak too low to be heard by those assembled. You are also, my dear brother, frequently in danger of being tedious. Even in small meetings, your remarks are too lengthy. Every word of what you say may be true, but in order to find its way to the soul it should be accompanied with a fervor of spiritual power. What we say should be right to the point and not of sufficient length to weary the listeners, else the subject matter will find no lodgment in their hearts. (4T 131.4) MC VC